a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 18: Dynamic Posing

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

hello, welcome to microsoft technical support

this is the securities department

my name is steve

how can i help you

Hi, so, uh, I got this message on my mobile device saying something about getting a refund?

yes so uh

we are ending our microsoft tech service #3621

and so we’re going to give out refund to each and everything who was subscribed to that service

you will be paid $200 in cash

Oh, that’s great. So how do I get the refund?

so you first need to klik open ur komputur

Alright, give me a moment. It’s gotta boot up first.

Give it a few minutes, alright?

ok

*snicker*

Heh.

Pfft.

Say, where are you guys located?

Microsoft HQ in california

Oh, I live there too! Where in California?

uhhh california city

i work in the devil’s lair

isthatwhatyoucallkurenai’sv@ginatoo?

wat

what?

whatthewhatnow?

did you say something sir you were talking too fast

Oh, I was just curious what your name was.

it’s steven sir.

steven wilson.

just do one thing before we start

tell me your namesir ?

My name?

My name is Ligon.

your name is WAAAT?

Ligon.

...whAAAAT?

My name is Ligon!

...ligon?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

WE GOT HIM

LIGON DESE NUTS B!CH OOOOOOH poo poo AAALSKHDGLSADHGSAPIDLF:BHWAILSFBKADFLSBKADLKHFGLKEQLKARSKGALSDFGKLAKSFGKADHFSLGKASHDGLKASDFGHLASDHGIOASDFBLHASFLIDBIADFHKKHAEDFSIXPGBIVSDHFBGDFS

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GET REKTTTTTTTTTT

I FRICKING GOT YOU THERE

I GOT YOU SO GOOD THERE HOW DO YOU FEEL

YOU FELL RIGHT INTO HIS TRAP THERE DUDE

YOU JUST FELL

RIGHT INTO HIS TRAP

…

WE GOT HIM GOOD

NICE CATCH MY MAN

THOSE INDIAN SCAMMERS NEVER LEARN

X.x.X_C0CKUZU_X.x.X has disconnected the call.

…

So did you get any money from the scam?

...no.

are you serious?

who hired this guy?

Konan, I know it was you.

no

Konan don’t do this to me, I know it was you

no i think it was obito

wha– C’MON KONAN DON’T SAY THAT STUFF OUT LOUD!

DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT OUR PLAN TO REVIVE MADARA SO HE CAN PUT THE WHOLE WORLD UNDER A GENJUTSU?! DO YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT?

no

SO NEXT TIME BE CAREFUL WHAT YOURE SAYING!

ok

jeez. women am i right? heh heh

uh…

…

you guys didn’t hear that did you.

…

...

...*.

um… tortillas, anyone?

MEANWHILE IN THE HOKAGAE OFFICE

lady tsunade

what

how long has it been since I’ve been relevant in this series?

uhhhhhhhhhhh

a quick google doc search says that your last important appearance waaaaaaas…

episode 42 of the original series.

...that was more than a year ago!

man, time sure flies, doesn’t it?

well, shikamaru, are you sure you have enough time to carry an entire story arc by yourself?

as naruto or idontcare can testify, being the protagonist of a story arc is Serious Business

and you’re just a side character with an outdated gimmick!

sure you can handle it?

Ma’am, I bought five watches the other day.

FIVE.

WATCHES.

I’ve got a LOT of time on my hands.

get it? get it? get i–

shut up

your puns stopped being funny 30 episodes ago

Quit throwing shade.

I know you’re just jealous.

yeah but you’re not funny

I know you’re giving your… BRE.AST effort to talk bad about me…

...but nothing you say will EVER stop me from making puns!

...get it? get it?

because funny big bo0b lady?

i gently caressing hate you

Hey, Idontcare!

Eh?

Whatever happened to that cute Amegakure girl that you were with at the climax of last season?

Heh heh, you said “climax”.

...Oh my god.

Anyways, she’s gonna go back to Amegakure in a few days.

...really?

That’s kind of anticlimactic.

Yeah, well… what can ya do?

We gotta conveniently write her out of the plot somehow.

Yeah, like what happened to Generic Kirigakure Nin and her plot to assassinate Kakashi?

...I do not remember that subplot whatsoever.

My point exactly.

That waifu subplot literally got wiped from existence.

...Wait, you weren’t even in Season 4.

How do you even know that?

Uhhhh.

So anyways, are you sad your haremette is leaving?

Hmm… At least I made an international friend, you know?

...Another one? You mean GSN wasn’t enough?

GSN and I aren’t a thing anymore, remember?

Oh yeah… right…

Why’s that Amegakure girl *ing around anyways?

Well… uh… Asuma offered to teach her some Wind ninjutsu before she left.

wait why am i here too

Guess you’re coming along for the ride baby.

poo poo

So, the first step of learning Wind ninjutsu is… *cough*

showing me what you can do by beating up my students!

???

excuse me, did i hear you correctly good chap

WAIT WHAT

I DIDNT CONSENT TO THIS

Neither did I. We’re in the same boat.

Remember kids, consent is important!

INTERMISSION:

Hey didn’t this happen already?

When?

Way back in like episode 4 when I made that pun and you slapped me?

Oh yeah.

Good times, man.

So can we not repeat history please?

References aren’t funny.

Screw your rules, I have Pacific Islander blood!

Man, you must really get your ROCKS off beating people… up… right?

Heh.

okay that one was pretty good

...I hate you.

Impressive work… *cough* *** *dying*

Your puns attacked my life points directly…

...but that’s not enough!

Let me show you what I can do!

Wind Style: Voting Ballot Jutsu!

BALSDVASDBLIASFBADLFSKBH

BLBBLBLBLBLBLBLBL

BABUMBUMBUM

make sure to vote in November, US citizens!

Hey, I’ve got a question. What was Ino’s personality in this Let’s Play again?

It’s been so long since she was relevant y’know?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

probably just some edgy joke from 2017

it’s funny because she’s edgy

hahaha lol early 2010s abridged culture lololololollll

So, uh…

they’re all suffocating in paper now.

This is why we need the US Postal Service!

What now?

what now? politik?

what the what now?

ANYWAYS TEACH ME HISTY

Let me show you what REAL wind chakra is like! *cough* *smoke* *cough*

“rubbed together” huh?

that doesn’t sound s3xual at all.

Nope.

You sure you aren’t grooming your ki–

Derps.

what?

...let’s not go there.

Even I have my limits as to what kind of offensive jokes we can make.

dude we celebrated blm last episode

i think the bar is pretty low

...just trust me on this, Derps.

To show you just how powerful my *couhg* chakra is…

I’m gonna strike a REALLY DYNAMIC POSE.

…

…

…

so, uh…

…

…*cough*

…

...you gonna do anything?

No *cough* I’m just going to stand here menacingly.

wind chakra is about posing like a bad@ss after all smh

Oh.

Well in that case, everyone, let’s beat him up!

WAIT HOL UP–

Did I get wind chakra right yet?

BLASDGKLABLAKSDBASLKDBHALSDKBHASLFB

...yeah i guess thats right

whatever man i give up

imma just go get another smoke

...Wait, since when were you here?

I was always here.

...what the gently caress is wrong with your portrait.

Uh… what are you talking about?

Nothing’s wrong. I’m just celebrating current events.

Current… e–

I mean, I’m celebrating the finale of Season 2 by keeping one of the one-off jokes there relevant!

See?

...

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 18 - Dynamic Posing

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

THIS IS URGENT WE GOT A REPORT OF SOME HEAVY INDIAN TELEMARKETER ACTIVITY

THE HOKAGE JUST GOT SCAMMED OUT OF $50,000 DOLLARS OF NATIONAL FUNDS BY AN INDIAN SCAMMER

I REPEAT, THIS IS URGENT

oh, how convenient.

Wait, hold on a moment. Why does he call him “sensei”?

Were they… teacher and student?

Nah bro.

We used to work together at McDonalds before the COVID pandemic.

Everyone there used to call me “sensei”.

Why?

Because I convinced all of them that traps weren’t g@y.

And then they started liking traps.

...did they really like you that much?

No, they just liked my s3xy beard.

Maybe someday you’ll be able to grow one as s3xy as *cough* mine.

Dude, I’m Pacific Islander.

I can totally grow beards.

...Doubt.

Hi,

Wonderful job and keep it going..