a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 9: MASTICATING

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Watch the Season 2 Intro here! (youtube link)

Hi there, fellow Leaf Ninja.

Oh, it’s kakashi.

Hi, pedopo0p.

WHO YOU CALLIN PEDOPO0P?

you, obviously.

I, uh, I mean…

yes, I like children!

That’s more like the Kakshi we know and hate.

Hahaha. I am so stealthy.

Not even Tsunade can tell that I’m really Orochimaru in disguise.

Man, I should really rate the guy on eBay who sold me this 5 stars.

…

...Nah, I’ll rate him 3.

Cause I’m EVIL.

WE’RE GETTING A NEW TEAMMATE BOYS

IF ITS ANYONE OTHER THAN SASUKE

I’M GONNA BE MAD

…

…

…

...it’s not gonna be saske.

yeah i figured.

Also, since Kakashi has been… neutered.

We’re giving you a new team captain.

WAIT WHY?

I dunno.

Something about Orochimaru and Kabuto coming all over him.

HEH HEH HEH.

aww man, that sux. he’s gonna have to go on with his life without us.

I can’t even begin to imagine the depression that he’s feeling right now.

WOOOOOOOOO NARUTO’S OUT OF MY LIFE BAYBEEEEEEEEEE

NO MORE ADHD KID TO WATCH OVER YEEEEEEEEE

Oh yeah.

Orochimaru, could you get me my coffee?

WAT

WATH

HOWD YOU

I, I mean uh

Who is this “orochimaru and kabuto” person you ask of?

I am Kakshi Butfakke

and I live in Kanohi.

…

…

…

so are you gonna get my my coffe–

GET IT YOURSELF YOU BIG CHESTED B!–

Well, I just witnessed the murder of lord orochima–

Wait, what are we doing here?

Uh… Hinata challenged me to a fight.

For NO REASON.

Yeah, uh, alright, whatever.

I win.

You guys wanna buy some BUGS?

…

…

…Who are you again?

It’s me, Shino.

You’re not Shino!

The real Shino would NEVER cover up that p1mpin’ Jew fro!

I shall show you something that only I would possess.

HOLY poo poo.

IT’S THE LEGENDARY FAMILY JEWELS POSSESSED ONLY BY THE ABURAME CLAN!

LEGENDS SAID THEY DIDNT EVEN EXIST!

You truly must be Shino.

quite. Aburame clan d1cks are enormous thanks to the power of our prescription bugs.

And you, too, can get a huge d1ck for only 10 small payments of $99.99!

...no.

Now put that thing away, we’ve got a child here!

…

...Oh. Well this is awkward.

Sorry if I’m… bugging you.

An innocent mind doesn’t need to see that kind of thing…

at least for the next 10 years.

...bruh.

You know, the cat being there just completely ruins all dramatic tension in this episode.

you’re one to talk idontcare

Dude, shut up.

CLICK HERE FOR A YOUTUBE INTERMISSION

Sai.

As you know, I really hate the Third Hokage.

But enough about that.

You will join Team Kakashi and keep a big eye on those two guys.

That… orange dude.

And the buff guy.

And report back to me.

With your magical paintbrush, pale white skin, and gay rear end crop top you’ll fit right in.

Oooh, nice.

But afterwards you’ll let me write a gratuitous romance story about Tenten and Idontcare bonding over a delicious cheesecake and making love in the wee hours of the morning?

Cheesecake?!

That makes it burn when I pee.

But as bad as that sounds, that burning sensation is far more pleasant than the mere presence of the devil known as the Third Hokage.

Who I hate by the way.

Cheesecake makes you what?

Nevermind.

But the most important thing you need to remember

is that if you see Sasuke during that mission

KILL HIM!

Why do you want me to kill a fellow goff? Sasuke isn’t even a prepp!!111!111

he’s a GOFF!

he’s a GOFFIC GOODNESS SE.X.XI BOYE!

Because Sasuke was once a brave and heroic ninja who fought to protect the Leif Village.

The Leif Village is currently ruled by Tsunade.

Tsunade was once a student of the Third Hokage.

Who I despise.

Sasuke’s crime is therefore UNFORGIVABLE!

Naruto, do you see my face right now?

Yes?

It’s my “I don’t give a gently caress about your problems” face.

HEY NARUTO OL’ CHAP

I HEARD YOU GUYS WERE LOOKIN’ FOR A NEW CHUM TO BE YOUR TEAM MATE

*snicker*

*snicker*

*snicker*

*snicker*

*snicker**snicker**snicker**snickers*

*snickCOUGH**DYING* *BEEB*

…

...

...aaaah.

you’re…

you’re serious aren’t you.

you’re…

YOU wanna be a part of our team.

Hey who’s that?

YO WTF WHO JUST ATTACKED US

“So I went down to Konoha. And Shikamaru and Naruto were there and they were MAKING OUT and TOUCHING EACH OTHER!!! and Choji was MASTICATING to it!!!1!!!!!!1111!111121”

NARUTO HE’S WRITING A GAY FANFICTION ABOUT US

IT’S OKAY, YOU’RE GAY SO IT’S ACCURATE

I THINK YOU’RE MISTAKING ME FOR YOU SINCE YOU LIKE SASUKE

NAH I’M PRETTY SURE I SAID SHIKAMARU BACK THERE

HEY YOU WHY’D YOU ATTACK US?

OW WTF THAT HURT

wait holy poo poo is that mizuki from chapter 1

...

HOLY poo poo IT’S ANBU BAPTAIN

Oh god not this rear end in a top hat again.

I’mma shut him up before he even SAYS anything, so I don’t have to make a portrait for this mother gentlycaresser!

God, that guy’s a rear end.

Dope.

Man, you really are…

Down to earth.

...that one didn’t even make sense

Hey, cut me some slack.

I gotta make my quota of 1 pun per appearance in an episode!

You didn’t make any puns in episode 1 though!

Yeah, and they took a cut of my pay check because of it!

Wait a minute…

THIS IS THE FREAKING FANFICTION GUY!

HE’S GONNA WRITE LEMONS ABOUT US AGAIN!

Yeah, what else would I do huh?

stop flaming you prep!!1!111!11

No u.

So, uh…

Who was our other team member supposed to be again?

Er…

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 9: MASTICATING

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

You’ve gotta be poo. pooing me.

I BET THAT BUFF GUY’S D1CK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS OMEGALULUSDLGULDSUGL

dude.

Uh, obviously.

C’mon man, you don’t have to be a…

D1CK ABOUT IT!

badum ptsssssss

Shut up Sukura.

...this joke got old like 3 episodes ago.

MEAAANWHILE IN OROCHIMU’S LAIR

Sittin’ in my bed

Ooh. Ah.

Sittin’ in my bed

Ooh. Ah.

Sittin’ in my bed

Ooh. Ah.

Man, it really would suk to spontaneously bl0w up right about no–