a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 4: Chiyo, Swimsuit Goddess

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Watch the Season 1 Intro here!

...does EVERYONE revolve around Gaara?

Yes.

GOD!

Gaara makes good memes.

Why you hatin’, Idontcare?

Gaara is a rear end in a top hat mothergentlycaresser

he peed on my gently caressing WIFE!

...he what?

You don’t have a wife.

I DID BUT THEN HE STOLE HER AWAY!

Doubt.

Look at this guy.

Look at how happy he is that Gaara got kidnapped.

He hates Gaara too. Kek.

stop projecting doicare

it seems that kankuro was defeated

oh hi bosshi

You’re late.

...not like that’s an accomplishemnt to kill konkoruououou.

...Didn’t you die back in Part 1, when Hayate killed you?

uhhhhHHHHhhhHhhhhh.

well since we know that temari is a bad unit, there’s only one other resource the sand village has that could possibly help fix this dilemma.

friends, we need to go and visit… the OLD PEOPLE.

I was gonna do that anyways.

Also, we found these two guys trying to murder the terrorist. They’ll help out in the operation as well.

Sup.

Oy.

Oh, it’s uh…

…

...what was your name again?

I’m Zaku, you rear end in a top hat! The former Tan Ranger of the Danger Rangers!

...Oh no, not this fresh eternal sauna again.

The freakin’ Danger Rangers were so last season.

Oh, and you’re uh… Desu, right?

...i hate you

I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROO––––

OOOOOH TOO LATE

Let me introduce you to the Goddess of Love, the legendary Lady Chiyo.

...You’re the S3x Goddess?

...How many times have you lost your virginity?

Sixty-nine.

...bruh.

Chiyo, can you help us save Gaa–

You, with the dumb looking cat jumpsuit.

...It isn’t a jumpsuit! It’s my Shippuden clothes! And it’s BADB3TT!

...there is strife within your heart.

Huh…?

You seek romantic closure, no?

Is that not why you have come to me, the so-called “Goddess of Love”?

...yes.

What do I do if the Kazekage is b@nging my girlfriend?

she’s not your girlfriend, she’s his

Hmm, how intriguing. I see that your ego is as warped as your sense of reality.

Worry not, young one. You need not sheathe the truth in embellishment.

I know exactly what is going on.

The one whom you hold close to your heart has wormed her way into that of another, no?

Translation?

Generic Suna Nin is dating the Kazekage and not the buff idiot here.

…

Dude.

I mean, there were clues towards this even in Part 1.

...look.

I don’t wanna go too deep into this topic, since, y’know…

everyone’s here and they’ll overhear

but… I’d appreciate all the help I could get.

I see…

Well, first, we must begin by freeing you from the emotional baggage tugging you down.

E-eh?

Oh, a new win objective.

Cool.

…

…Lady, are you going senile?

You don’t expect me to be able to beat up the girl I love, right?

Hehehe.

These are personifications of all your doubts and fears related to her.

Your fear of non-reciprocation...

Fear of abandonment…

Fear of losing the person you value the most... to external factors...

...And your strange irrational fear that Gaara is a k1nky mothertrucker and doing weird things to her.

...What the gently caress?

You’re such a weirdo.

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

HAHAHAHHA

…

BAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA

...okay.

SHE JUST TOLD EVERYONE YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET

dude, c’mon

chill. it’s not a big dea-

YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED

...if I had the artistic capacity to do so, I’d be burying my hands in my face right now.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL

This is so * stup1d...

I have siphoned these fears out of your heart, and now you must defeat them in combat!

I can’t slap the person most important to me, you hag, let alone punch them!

I… just can’t…

Master, I’ll help you! I believe in you – you can do this!

You’ve always bragged about your fighting style – if it’s as great as you say, you can surely surpass this trial!

...Thanks.

Alright then, let’s do this...

Your bl0ws lack focus!

Your “legendary” slap has lost its kick!

Do you truly wish to find peace of mind and liberate yourself of your doubts, or not?

WHOA WHAT THE gently caress IS THAT

Lost Art of Love: Harem Jutsu!

WTF

ARE THOSE TENTACLES

EWWWWWW

...no, Idontcare.

I… I can’t, you’re like a brother to me.

Besides, I already have a boyfriend...

O W

MY HEART

WTF LADY CHIYO WHYYYYYY

I’ve had enough of you, Idontcare.

I’m tired of your overbloated ego.

I’m leaving. I’d rather not speak to you again.

…

If I wasn’t standing in front of a crowd right now, I’d actually be crying right now.

What? I thought you said you never cried.

Yeah, but… sometimes I do.

Even a real man cries sometimes.

No we don’t.

SHUT UP KAKSHI

The life of a Ninja is a dangerous one.

I could die on any of these missions, you know that?

I AM a Sunagakure soldier after all.

What’re you going to do after I die?

…

Do you know what Gaara did to me last night?

Do I Care?

Last night we got a little…

Idontcaresodonttellmeaboutitplease.

...feisty with all of his sand.

Wink.

...Words cannot express how I feel right now, so I won’t even try.

Suffocation, rope stuff, sand tentacles…

You name it.

That man, he knows every trick in the book.

...

He’s truly worthy of being known as the Kazekage of the night.

...wtf was that nickname?

Heehee.

LADY S3X GODDESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’M DONE

gently caress THIS poo poo

I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE

Is your soul really so weak, Idontcare?

Well now, they’re going in for Round 2.

I have a boyfriend, so, erm…

I’m sorry, I can’t date you.

I… hope we can still be friends.

All you do is talk tr@sh about everyone.

I don’t want to be around someone as toxic as you.

...I was wounded in my last mission.

I’m going to die, Idontcare.

It’s… it’s grievous.

Yes, that’s right.

You heard me.

Gaara took his long, hard, sandy, rod-shaped tool, and shoved it deep in–

No.

I’ve had enough of this poo poo.

I don’t want to hear about the Memekage’s stup1d s3xual fantasies!!

...

Would you just…

sHUT UP?!

…*p00f*

…

…

...Well done, young Padawan.

You have overcome yourself.

...even if it was through naught but sheer rage.

Lady, I’m steaming mad right now.

Especially at you, for making me go through that.

Let me give you a piece of my mind right now.

Hanabi?

Right.

BLAAAEKLGLRHGRKGK

Not so s3xy now, are you?

Um, you’re not one to talk.

You didn’t lose your virginity 69 times, did you?

gently caress you.

...Nice.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 4: Chiyo, Swimsuit Goddess

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Boy, that fight was more awkward than the newest Akatsuki Radio episode I watched.

You listen to Akatsuki Radio?

Ever since the Akatsuki bought Barney the Dinosaur and turned it into a radio show, it’s never been better!

Hey kids, it’s me! Barney!

you know what I wanna talk about?

Friendship and magic and unicorns, all day!

There’s nothing better than friendship!

Pein-sama, why did you touch me before the camera started rolling desu ka?

BOI YOU WANT ME TO DEPORT YOUR rear end OUTTA JAPAN AND BACK INTO AMERICA?

iiiee, pain-sama! iieeeeee! nooooooo!! i wanna stay in nippon desu!

THEN SHUT THE gently caress UP!

drat, dude.

SHUT THE gently caress UP!

Hey Peen, you wanna chill?

SHUT THE gently caress UP!

God drat, son.

SHUT THE gently caress UP!

Alright, cut! CUT!

SHUT THE gently caress UP!

Holy poo poo, Dosu's still relevant