20 MINUTES AGO

Now that I think about it, life isn’t pretty bad!

I have friends, a reason for living and bettering myself, and not to mention being a significant part on this show…

...you know what? I’m… happy–

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

EY SASUKE!

Eheheheh. This is kinda fun.

EBENEEEEEEEEZER SCROOOOOOOOOOOGE.

EBENEEEEEEEZER SKCUROOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!

You!

You think you’re so big. You’ll never amount to anything.

I-I will.

You’ll see!

Why do you think we want Nardo over you?

For his PERSONALITY?

His ADHD medication?

No.

He’s more powerful than you.

And he’s even more important in the plot.

THAT’S NOT TRUE!

Think about it.

How many total script lines do you have in this Let’s Play?

Compare it to how many Naruto has.

Or even Idontcare, that stup1d buff guy with his god-DRAT PIG!

You are of no interest to me.

Naruto and even Idontcare is more appealing a character than you’ll ever be!

I think that was a little harsh 1tachi. Especially comparing him to that Idontcare loser.

Shut up Kisame, get off the line!

Oooh! My bad, sorry! Can we go to Sea World after–

We don’t need you.

How do you like them apples?

them apples…

them apples…

apples…

Sasuke! Want some apples?

Yeah, they’re APPLE FLAVORED!

…

I HATE APPLESSSSSSSS!

I mean

I HATE YOU, NARUTO!!!!!!!

Sasuke, violence isn’t the answer.

Violence is the question. The answer is yes.

PRESENT TIME

What the eternal sauna is going on up…

OOH HEY LOOK A TREASURE CHEST!

Uh… weren’t we going to check on Sasu–

I bet there’s a Water Stone or something shiny in here.

I’ve had enough of you.

I…

...uh…

...you know, the only thing I can really complain about is the rasengan and that stup1d toad who always says “gently caress” again and again.

HEY YOU LEAVE GAMAgentlycaressTA OUT OF THIS!

Now put your headband on and fight me already!

Don’t tell me what to do. We’re not equals. I’ll prove that.

You’re NOTHING.

You’re not even worthy of being called Naruto.

From now on, I’m going to call you…

Don’t you dare.

BORUTO’S DAD.

…

I’M GONNA KICK YOUR rear end!!!!

BORUTO’S DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKYYYYYYYYY!

Hey, what’s it called when you kill a friend?

Homiecide?

Murder.

Homiecide.

Hey, let me help.

I’ve learned some new tricks too, you know.

GO! GOLDEN MAGIC MONKEY!

…

...Are you kidding me?

What can you do? You’re just a bunch of muscles and nothing else!

Don’t hurt yourself, Idontcare! He may be weak, but he has the power of Kishimoto and the plot on his side!

Really, huh? PLOT THIS!

Plot this?! What does that even me-

...really?

After all this time, all this training…

Your repertoire is still just a bunch of various slaps?

I st1ck to what works.

Time to use my move!

SUPER CHIRPY BIRDY FLASH TWEET!

oh poo poo.

...Dude, how did you survive that?

Don’t underestimate the power of the Monkey King.

Don’t you mean “don’t underestimate the power of Golden Magic Monkey”?

*sigh*

Alright, let me finish this…

EDGELORD SHATTERER 4000!

Calm your jets, hotshots.

It’s not like you guys are tryna kill each other or anything.

Yeah.

Trying.

Whatever, I’m outta here.

Anyway, I smoked like 100 pounds of weed earlier today.

I coulda sworn I saw a chick in a kimono drop her clothes in front of me and shoot icicles out of her belly.

...nani tf?

uh...

Why are they doing this? We were friends just an hour ago!

This is how you move along the plot.

That was the drama llama rearing its ugly head.

You shouldn’ve taught Naruto the rasengan, Jiraiya.

Hey, I’m not his DAD.

Besides, you taught Sasuke that stup1d bird tweet thing thing.

This close, Jiraiya. You’re this close.

Shouldn’t you be keeping an eye on him?

You know, the only one you have left?

Huh, I suppose so.

Even though I’m stoned as gently caress.

At this rate, he and Naruto are gonna turn out like you and Orochimaru.

What. Incredibly handsome and studly, getting all the ladies?

Uh… no, I was gonna say eternal nemesises.

And… Orochimaru? Studly?

You’d be surprised.

*cry*

Don’t worry Sakura.

Everything will be fine.

Hey, uh, do you really believe that?

Pfft, no, I’m just trying to integrate myself more into the story like a good Main Character.

Who the gently ca–

LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN!

Sorry. WHOM the gently caress-

DON’T GENTLY CARESSING SAY BAD WORDS

…

...just

who the eternal sauna are you jokers

We fight for good!

We live for justice!

We like what we do!

We eat lots and lots of bacon cheeseburgers!

We never do drugs!

For we are…

the DANGER RANGERS!

...psst, Green, why’d you change your line to “we never do drugs”?

...Since, ya know, Danger Pink had to stay behind.

Because he overdosed on crack.

It’s called encouraging a new behavior, Yellow. Just shut up, nobody likes you anyways.

Speaking of Rangers that nobody likes…

...where the absolute gently caressing eternal sauna is Zaku?

He’s looking for more Fire Mains to practice Clothes Str1p no Jutsu on.

So he skipped out.

*sigh* what do you idiots want?

Come with us.

We’ve been commissioned by the City to bring you to... an urgent conference?

...with who?

I’m sure you know of Commissioner Orochimaru?

...What are you guys on?

Crack.

Guys.

I thought we said we weren’t gonna do drugs this time.

...But CLEARLY nobody listens to me.

Sasuke… Orochimaru will give you power to get back at that Naruto kid.

You’ll be able to smite down your brother.

Leave that buff guy begging for mercy at your feet.

You could even… control the plot indirectly through Caintetsu and Abelmo.

Hmm… this sounds sketchy.

Uh, we also have…

...Tayuya, what’s in your pockets?

H-HEY DON’T JUST GO SHOVING YOUR HANDS INTO MY POCKE–

We have three paper clips, a couple’s ticket to Great America, a couple’s ticket to watch Let Me Eat Your Pancreas…

This temporary tattoo of Pakkun...

and a photo of–

Wait a minute.

What’s this?

…

…

When did you even take that photo?

...Uh…

NEVER MIND THAT THAT’S NOT FOR SALE

JUST TAKE THE PAPERCLIPS AND THE ROMANTIC TICKETS AND GRAB YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND COME WITH US OKAY

b-baka

...whatever, I’ll just go.

whatever.

Oh no, my Sakura senses are tingling!

What in the eternal sauna is a Sakura sense?

What are you doing out so late, Sakura?

I know what you’re doing.

But why?

Sakura.

When was the last time I spoke in this let’s play.

I think it was like, Season 2?

Exactly. This is what I mean.

This show isn’t going the way it was supposed to.

That “Idontcare” guy showed up and ruined the canon.

And now that mummy guy is alive too.

Orochimaru will give me plot relevance again.

I’ll get my plot convenience back!

Don’t throw this all away! Think of all the times we had! You, me, and Naruto and Kakashi! A team!

A strong team!

I know you had your struggles in the past, but we can tackle your personal demons together! I want you to be happy…

Besides, I’m your nicest friend! ...No, that’s Naruto.

I’m your hottest friend! ...No, that’s Shizune… I think.

Besides, I’m your friend!

Wow, Sakura, I never thought you could be so… deep.

Heh heh… you said deep.

Whatever, I’m leaving.

NOOOO SASUKEEEEEE I LOVE YOU!!

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!

*walks off*

Well, Sasuke, as your 3scorts to the Sound Village, we are at your every command.

What are your orders?

A posse of Super Sentai Rangers? Sweet.

Well, I do have one request…

Teach me how to activate my inner Mighty Morphin’ power.

Naruto… Idontcare… I’ll be back for your rear ends soon enough.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Hey, what’s this note doing here?

It’s from Sasuke…

Naruto and Sakura. I have decided to join Orochimaru to follow the path of revenge and go after my brother.

Rest assured I came to this decision by my own will, and that I was in no way forced into this choice.

Do not come after me.

I will be okay.

There is no need to rescue me. I am doing this of my own free will.

Signed, Sasuke.

...MY GOD.

SASUKE’S BEEN KIDNAPPED?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!

I told you you should’ve been clearer.

Nice cover art of I don't care and a derp's life, story v long thou, I haven't finished reading it XD , someday maybe...

Homiecide.... definitely noting that down for future use

Thank the internet for that one.