Editor's Note: I can't believe they censor the word b3tt.

Here we are. We finally found you.

uhh hi?

Itachi, why are we looking for this kid again?

Kisame, I’ve already told you.

Twenty times.

Can you tell me again for exposition sake?

No. Now shut up or you won’t get any Nutri-Grain snacks on the way back.

But they’re so tasty! That’s just unfair, Itachi.

Kill kill kill kill!

Kill kill kill killk ill kill kill!

How have you been?

Kill!

Dude, what the hell is up with him? He’s so mad, his sprite grew bigger than everyone else’s!

I mean, look at his face! It’s like 1.5 the size of mine! And I’m the Main Character for christ sake!

And that pose, it’s like he’s holding an evil overlord plot device up in the air!

Kill kill kill kill kill!

Itachi, I don’t think he understands what you’re saying. Why don’t you speak to him in his language?

Okay. Sure.

Kill. Kill kill kill?

Kill kill kill! Kill!

Kill. Heh heh. Kill.

Kill kill kill kill kill kill!

Hey, uh, Itachi, what do we do about that buff guy standing there?

Kill kill kill? Huh? Oh. Here. He can go to sleep while Sasuke and me talk things out like adults.

Kill kill kill, kill?

Kill.

See? He agrees.

Wait what? Why don’t I get a say in this–

I FEEL DRUGGED! THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY RIGHTS!

So, uh… did he teleport me into Teen Titans Go?

I already hate this dream.

Uhh never mind, I like this dream.

I just wish that this… fan… b0ob… girl… thing was generic Suna nin, but whatever.

Hey, uh…

Why are you here? This is my dream.

To be honest, I have no idea, dude. I was busy smoking weed with the other Danger Rangers, except for Green cause he’s a punk who doesn’t smoke, and then–

Yeah, who cares.

Okay then. MEAT SHIELDS! GO!

I don’t like this dream anymore.

You could’ve made a bl0w innuendo. Would that make it any better?

...No.

Well, looks like I have to use my ultimate attack now.

Dude, man, I smoked like fifty tons of weed before I got here.

Did a rainbow just go shooting out of your rear end and into that girl’s?

No. No dude.

And I’m pretty sure that’s a guy.

Let’s find out!

CLOTHES STRIP NO JUTSU!

Yep, he’s a dude.

And all of a sudden, I like you a lot more, Zaku.

You think that’s something sp1cy? Watch this! This is FABULOUS!

What the…

...That looks like it hurt.

To put it lightly.

Okay, uh, time to finish them off with my Buff Guy attack!

Hey, what the…

OH GOD IM ALIVE!

I woke up!!! That was a weird-rear end dream…

Nine tails. Come with us.

No!

No?

No!

No? Uh… I wasn’t expecting that. Um… please?

No.

Well crap.

Okay, let’s go Kisame.

You know, we could just kick his rear end and take him now-

Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot you were the one calling the shots Kisame. Any other splendid ideas you’d like to give?

I’ll be quiet.

Hey, listen to me. You totally stole that joke.

You two go walkin’ around like some kind of badb3tts huh?

Well I’m gonna prove I’m more of a badb3tt than you ever will be! You’re just hiding behind those stup1d bloody cloud cloaks things stuffs!

Sorry to break it to ya buddy. I’m still taller than ya.

At least I’m the same height as the other guy.

BUT I’M GONNA KICK YOUR REAR ENDS TO SHOW HOW MUCH OF A BADB3TT I AM!!

Holy eternal sauna, what happened to that wall?!

Uh… I accidentally… tore it off…?

You’re gonna pay for that… in a debt of pain and hurt!

Um, dude, are you ever gonna get some better attacks?

Cause this is kind of humiliating.

No.

I’m a badb3tt.

Hey, uh, you, whose name I forgot.

Generic Kirigakure girl in a kimono. Who definitely isn't Haku.

Yeah, whatever. Attack them.

Jiraiya, I got this. Watch THIS.

This is embarrassing.

Nailed it.

Don’t worry Naruto, we’ll be back.

But not for several years so that you have time to train and kick their asses.

I COULD’VE BEAT HIM!

No you couldn’tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

But if I-

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Then I’ll have to train and-

You’lllll still su3kkkkkkkkkkk!

HEY GUESS WHAT NARUTO AND UHH WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS

WE GOIN’ ON A JOURNEY

HOW DARE YOU FORGET MY NAME I’M THE MAIN-

wait why?

uhhhh…

20 MINUTES AGO

We need to find a new Hokage!

I agree. I’d like to nominate Aoba.

Bob, for the last time, we’re not nominating your imaginary friend!

Now you hurt his feelings!

...How senile ARE you two?

So Jiraiya, do YOU want to be the hokage?!

Sorry, I’d love to. But I gotta, uh…

...umm… train Naruto. And that other guy.

The buff guy whose name I forgot.

Oh, and I take back that “love to” part.

Why?

Because every Hokage you get here has the tendency for uh… what’s the word I’m looking for?

Oh yeah.

DYING.

But it’s a sacrifice for the greater good of the village!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

seriously. no.

Bye.

Well then, can I be the hokage?

No, Bob!

Aww…

God, this is just as bad as the last time we had to replace the hokage!

A FEW YEARS AGO IDK HOW MANY

And with that, I bequeath to you the title of Hokage!

So go forth, and become the fourth Hokage!

Ahh, finally I can enjoy my retirement in pea–

FOURTH HOKAGE’S gently caressING DEAD

AH GOD DRAT IT

Can I be the hokage?

Bob, that’s just you wearing a fake moustache!!!

Touche, Gladys. Touche.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

...Why do I severely doubt that?

With a portrait like that, I don’t think you can be strict at anything.

Shut up.

Oh yeah, uh, I almost forgot.

Since it's episode 30, uh.

Survey time.

Jiraiya's portrait

Dance of The Mighty Hog- perfect for this new Chinese year

You know guys, I would do such a naicu illustration for the effect of Zaku's jutsu on Scarlet if I knew earlier there will be SUCH action ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bob could make a good Hokage.

I just wasted 8 minutes of my life..and it was soo worth it

You're welcome.

wow i actually read this, but.. my thoughts were more on

what genjutsu was cast on Itachi that he can't avert his eyes. #_#

There's no such thing as "Wasted X minutes of my life" on this, every second reading this is far from a waste Akio.