Hey derps, you know what time it is?

zzzzzzzz

Yes derps, it’s Christmas time.

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...

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Didn’t we agree on doing a Holiday special today?

zzzZZZzzzZZzzZZZZzzz

...Well, contrary to popular belief, I’m too nice of a guy to wake you up.

zzzzzZZzZZzzZZZzzZZzZZzzz

So I’ll just write it myself. Heh...

********************

Hey, it’s holiday season.

Generic Suna girl, want to go out somewhere?

Uh… gently caress no?

What? Oh come on, you mean I saved you back in like episode 21 for nothing?

Well... it didn’t do *nothing*... but…

So… why are you saying no?!

Look, isn’t the whole appeal of the tsundere archetype the fact that the girl turns from a complaining j3rk into a softie who loves you?

Ehh, that’s too much work.

...Jeez, maybe my first impression of you *was* right.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, yes.

I’m not actually a tsundere, I think… but, eh… they told me I need some excuse to sing this song, so…

Who’s “they”?

Uh, those two guys? Anyways. *ahem* ...Sorry in advance.

You totally ignored me there.

******************************

Now I think you all know how songs work.

And this lovely song that I whipped up ten minutes ago goes to a familiar tune.

So uh… enjoy.

******************************

You're the protag, Idontcare,

You really love the slaps,

You’re as slimy as a lolicon picking up younger traps, Idontcare...

You'd even go so far as to write… a self-praising rap!

Wait, hold on, what the gently caress is this? Why did this turn into a roasting session of me?

You're a monster, Idontcare,

You think you’re buff, you see...

I bet you couldn’t stop a train or punch down a pine tree, Idontcare,

All those muscles are just for show; they’re just to make the girls go squeeeeee!

What? No, I’m totally buff!

You're an ANBU, Idontcare,

You're the king of stup1d things,

You’d sell out Sai and Kankuro just to get some bling, Idontcare,

Given the choice, I bet you’d sell out the Danger Rangers too… just for a ring!

You're a foul one, Idontcare,

You're an evil, weevil guy,

Your heart is full of macho, and your soul is full of pie, Idontcare,

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,

…

“Cool. Amazing. Flyyyyyyy"!

Alright, I see how it is. I think I got the last verse.

Wait, what?

You’re awesome, Idontcare,

I really don’t care aaaaaanymore!

I’ll just sing about myself! Write it down in lore!

Idontcaaaaaaaaare!

Nothing I do will ever be unfunny at all! Yes that’s right...

I’m not a booooooore~

See? I’m so awesome that a song meant to diss me magically transforms into praising me.

N-no, that’s not it...

Yeah, that was totally it.

At one point, I just couldn’t continue following the script…

because…

You were just *n away by how cool my hat is, right?

What? No!!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Heh, nailed it.

We’re starting this holiday season on a high note.

..Now if only that can continue through finals… lskhgfledf.ghtedsg.hn...