The mission was supposed to be simple. He had already outlined a pretty straight-forward plan: wait until fatigue hit the trio, then move in and finish the job quickly. That was how his mind always worked; his thoughts were logical and precise as a sharpshooter’s arrow.

The same couldn’t exactly be said about his comrades, though. One of them was crazily confident, almost to an idiotic level. The other was playfully sadistic. An interesting combination, to be sure.

Nevertheless, the problem with planning is that you can never account for every single possible variable. It’s impossible for the limited human mind to identify every different potential twist that might screw things up. A human just doesn’t have that level of omnipotence.

He shouldn’t have been surprised by their presence. At first glance, they were nothing special; they were just a ragtag bunch of misfits. How else do you describe an incredibly toned, tanned boy, a robotic swordsman with a little st1ck, a flamboyant girl with a fan, a flashy guy flicking kunai around absentmindedly, and a meek-looking girl? But there was something different about the five of them; the feel of their chakra and even their very auras were different from his own and that of his partners.

It was clear that they were not exam applicants. They were stronger, more coordinated. Less bumbly than the average genin.

Perhaps, even more than he and the team could handle.

•••

“My, my, it seems you weren’t expecting us, hm?” The blonde girl with the enormous folded fan shot him a seductive look. “Does this put a wrench in your little plans now?”

“Breeze, don’t try and provoke them,” hissed the stoic-looking swordsman. “An outraged enemy may be more reckless, but anger can @lso be empowering.”

“Fine, fine,” she murmured. “You guys are no fun.”

“They didn’t seem too strong when we first saw them,” muttered the toned boy. “Though, of course, they could’ve been just hiding their abilities. It was only the beginning of the exams after all.”

“What did you just say?" screamed Zaku. "I’ll bl0w you all away for that, you pieces of sh!t!”

Seized by uncontrollable rage, Zaku leapt forwards and slammed his hands together with monster-truck force, pointing his empty palms straight at their opponents.

“Zankukyokuha!”

A wave of sheer wind and sound released from his hands. The swordsman was hit head-on and was thrown into the air and back through the underbrush, and his blade was lodged deep into a nearby tree trunk.

Almost instantaneously in response, the toned boy smashed his own hands against the ground. A wall of rock tore itself out of the forest floor, blocking Zaku’s attack and protecting the others.

But Zaku was not going to let a bit of dirt stop him. Further increasing the pressure of his airwaves, he bored a gaping hole into the toned boy’s earth barrier. When the dust cleared, the remaining four were nowhere to be seen.

“Where did they-”

“Zaku, watch out!”

Dosu’s cry was too late. The toned boy’s rugged form suddenly appeared behind him in midair.

“Konoha sennpu!”

With a quick, brisk roundhouse kick, the muscular boy flickered, and Zaku’s limp form went flying into the treetops. His pursuer disappeared as quickly as he had appeared, most likely in pursuit of the confident Sound-nin.

Dosu paused. He wasn't too concerned for Zaku's safety. His partner had the element advantage, he could probably-

“Gotcha.”

A gust of wind ripped through the space behind him. Dosu rolled aside just in time, and his one remaining partner was barely able to dodge. Not wasting a minute, Kin hurled a flurry of senbon in their assailants’ general direction. The majority of them bore into the bark of the trees, but a few registered a grunt of pain.

“Not so tough now, are ya, huh fan-girl?” A smirk appeared on Kin’s face.

“Katon: Hyosenka no Jutsu!”

Bursts of fire ripped out of the forest to Kin’s left. Before they made contact with their target, however, she twirled around and took cover from behind a fallen tree. The sender of the fire, the cheeky-looking boy, stepped out of the shadows, accompanied by the shy-looking girl.

“So it’s just you now, huh?” The boy had a senbon in his mouth. “This doesn’t look hard. Bring it on, mummy boy.”

“Scarlet, don’t get c0cky,” remarked the girl.

“You should listen to your little girlfriend.” Dosu raised an amused eyebrow – the one visible eyebrow, the one not covered by bandages. “Judging from what I’ve seen of you so far, her advice is the only thing that’ll keep your little head attached to your shoulders in this world.”

“Oh, it’s so on! And she is NOT my girlfriend!” The Fire-style user leapt into action, nimbly throwing a few kunai in Dosu’s direction. Dodging them was no problem; in response, Dosu got up close and swung his right fist at Scarlet. The cheeky-faced boy was easily able to sidestep.

“Too slow!”

Dosu put his hand to the Resonating Echo Speaker firmly wrapped around his wrist.

“Kyomeisen.”

A splurge of sound leapt out of the speaker, engulfing everyone in the nearby area. Scarlet suddenly began to wave his arms around unstably as the balance in his ear was suddenly thrown out of w@ck. Desperate to stay up, he feebly clung to a nearby tree, wracking his head and trying to figure out what was going wrong.

“Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu!”

A projectile of a dragon, made purely out of water, leapt from the blue-haired girl’s hands and latched onto Dosu, tossing him back into the clearing. When he regained his bearings, he noticed that the girl was applying medical ninjutsu to her partner in an attempt to remove the Resonating Echo Drill’s effects. Somehow, she had been completely unfazed by his sound blast. Perhaps she had been out of range?

Too bad basic medical ninjutsu like that only works on wounds… not hearing damage, he thought to himself.

"Now this is an interesting twist of events," he murmured under this breath. A tinge of doubt ran through his head as he contemplated why Lord Orochimaru would send him and his two idiot teammates against a squadron of five clearly competent and advanced shinobi.

But now was not the time to wonder such things – there was a greater problem in front of him. The girl was guarding her downed partner with a water clone, giving him time to regain his bearings.

Dosu needed to assess the situation. They may have outnumbered and probably outpowered his team, but a bit of strategy could leave them with scars to remember, at the very least. Then, once things settled down, he could reevaluate his cir3umstances. That was how his mind always worked; his thoughts were logical and precise like a sharpshooter’s arrow.

Narrowing his one visible eye at his two opponents, Dosu brushed his sleeve back, revealed the Melody Arm once more, and leapt into the fray.

•••

This was an old short I wrote a little while back. I just unearthed it again and thought, well, why not put it up on the forum? Thanks for your time~