Okay, so unlike my mate a derps life I'm not gonna go and post these huge story blob parodies into the strategy forum, and then promptly have them disintegrated by the mods. Instead, I'll just do it here. This is a mini tribute to our resident Minor Character Enthusiast, Dosu himself. Just for funzies.

So this Naruto Online game came out and it's okay but I wanted to give a brief send off to Dosu Online.

Dosu Online is split into three games, where you have Sound, which is kinda like Unlimited Ninja, and then you have Fury, which is basically Naruto Online but with more features. Playing the third game, Hybrids, is like having someone take a massive dump on your lap. not fun.

Overall the game has become at least a little more nuanced than setting your team as Mei-Tenten-Mabui and then selecting auto battle to mow through pretty much every enemy in the game.

You can still do it a little bit with the water cancer teams but it feels more like the exception than the norm. And the characters themselves still center around their gimmicks (ex: Shino the bug boy, Kiba the dog boy, Gaara the sand boy, Naruto the ADHD boy, Sasuke the emo boy, et cetera) but they're mostly fine.

(a derps life just told me to add this: "there are actual characters now but also bad ones")

I really like the personal skills though and I hope they stay in future games. Anyways.

So you play as this guy Dosu who has a personal harem maid army but then your adoptive dad, elder Orochimaru, suddenly decides that Dosu has a higher IQ than "Dog of Hell" p00p and he tells you to kill some prisoners. You refuse to because you're the main character and murder is bad unless you do it sometimes

So Orochi's like "B!tch who you think you is!?" and starts seriously reevaluating your alive status.

But then your handsome, dreamy, suave older brother comes and is like "....no. dont...dont do dat"

and Orochimaru's like "alright, take this thing and do this sh!t and we're cool"

So you go to the border of the Grass Village with your homies but then Oboro starts seriously reevaluating Kabuto's alive status and smacks him off the bridge.

And you're like "B!tch, who you think you is!?" and you SMACK him into line, but you also fall off for some reason? I think?

But Zaku is actually a vacuum cleaner, which is actually a jet plane and brings you back up to where you get smacked and kidnapped to the Sound Village and meet your new true blood family, the sound four. You can still marry them but it's okay since you're not really related.

But then your face bl0ws up and your mom dies and then you turn into a merciless assassin cuz you were half assassin all along.

So you go back to the border since the Sound Village is invading the Leaf Village, but then you realize that your boss Orochimu isn't as cool as you think he is

and then you overhear Kabuto talking to this lame guy named Baki.

and then Gaara starts to seriously re-evaluate your alive status

And then you choose a path.

Defend the Leaf

St1ck with the Sound (tba)

Refuse to choose a side (tba)