Was the reason it’s not BTS because of the reference to that Korean boy band? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There is quite a lot of staring in this fic.

When Team [Unnamed as of 2017] woke up, they found themselves in a strange situation indeed.

Strange situations can u$ually be identified by finding yourself lying on benches outside of giant brick buildings you’ve never seen before, in clothes you’ve never seen before, surrounded by people you’ve never seen before.

“Who are you!?” Scarlet cried, pointing at Crimson (who was still groggily holding his head) in horror, one hand clasped to his chest.

“Huh? M’name’s Crimson… I think…” he fell back onto the bench.

“Oh. Riiiiight,” Scarlet said, slowly lowering his hands. He whirled around.

“Who are you!?” He cried, pointing at Midnight with horror.

“Urgh…. Y’want me t’kill ya, idiot?” Midnight growled, pushing himself off the ground (there were only four benches, so whoever laid them down must’ve just left him there).

“Yep, there can only be one person who talks like that,” Scarlet deadpanned. He whirled again.

“Who are-!? Nevermind,” he said quickly, recognizing the aura of killing intent coming off of Breeze in waves.

“Where are we?” Azure questioned tentatively, wincing.

“Hey! You kids playing h00ky or something? School’s started, get to cl@$$!” An authoritative voice yelled. A guy in dark blue clothes and a funny looking hat with a badge on it (Hitai-ate?) rolled up to them on some kind of weird two wheeled platform with handles. Confusion filled the five, and no one did anything for a few moments. Then the guy pointed at the building.

“CLA$$!” he roared.

Slowly and zombie like, they turned around and muddled towards the brick building.

“School? Cl@$$? We finished that stuff years ago,” Breeze muttered.

“That symbol on his forehead protector didn’t look like any I’ve seen…” Azure whispered.

“Had a strange shape, too,” Crimson chimed in, “I mean, there are those that cover the head but that thing just looked weird.”

They entered the building and struggled with the door a bit (why have handles on both sides if it’s a push only door?) and finally managed to enter the building, grateful that the old guy wouldn’t bother them anymore. A lady came from an office with walls made of gl@$$ from a side door.

“You are the transfer students, right? Cl@$$ begins at 7:25, but I suppose an exception can be made since it is your first day. Here are your schedules,” she said, handing them each a piece of paper marked with their respective names. They stared at her in silence.

“...This way,” she coughed awkwardly, leading them down the hall, “We’ve put you all in the same cl@ss to make things easier. If you have any questions please ask your teacher or cl@ssmates. Lunch is at 11:30 for soph0mores.

‘Soft wha-?’ they thought, sweating. What the heck was going on?

“Oh. Hey guys. Just say your name and take an empty seat,” some chill teacher who was not important enough to be described said genially.

The six desks that were left were sc@ttered around the room, and cl@ss began. But the subjects being taught were like none the five had ever seen before. What the heck was ‘Japanese’ history? Who were these random people who were obviously not ninjas? What was ‘English’? How did learning science help at all in being a ninja? The only subject that stayed the same between this weird non-ninja school and their own was, unfortunately, math.

By the time lunch rolled around, they were all pretty much brain dead.

“I’ve never even seen half this stuff,” Scarlet said, pupils rolled back into his head.

“I’ve never seen any of this stuff…” Azure murmured.

“Wow, you got Byakugan!? How!?” Crimson’s head rested on the table, staring dully at the drool coming out of Scarlet’s mouth.

“Showing the whites of your eyes doesn’t give you Byakugan, Crimson. And that trope’s overused in that manga that shalt not be named due to fear of copyright issues.”

Breeze and Midnight seemed to be the only ones still somewhat alive after all the lessons.

“This is all random so we don’t have bentos or money for food… Crimson, kindly go scrounge around in the incinerator behind the school for uneaten goods,” Scarlet drooled.

“What!? If I’m doing something like that, you’re coming with me!”

“You’re both disgusting. I’ll starve today, thanks,” Breeze declared.

They wandered behind the school. There really was no intention of digging around in the tr@sh incinerator, but if they used jutsu on one of the drink vending machines maybe they’d be able to get something.

“Alright, whadda they got?” Scarlet pressed his face against the vending machine, breath fogging up the gl@ss and eyes darting from item to item, “Iced coffee, hot coffee, Pocari Sweat- Ew, what the heck is that? Lemonade, Fanta, Ramune, Dr. Pepper, milk tea, green tea, black tea, other tea, and some other stuff that doesn’t look that good.”

“Well, it probably doesn’t matter since we’re most likely going to break the machine, depending on what you’re planning to do,” Crimson pointed out.

“It’d look bad if there was nothing left but a smoking pile of metal with exploded drinks all over it, and that’d be a waste anyway, so maybe you c@n use some good old fashioned Earth style and pop a hole in the bottom of the machine?”

“I can try. Just a simple one, no need to cause too much damage-”

‘Snake! Ram! Dog! Rat! Snake! Tiger!’

“Doton! Kengan no Jutsu!”

Nothing happened.

Scarlet stared at the vending machine. Then he blinked at Crimson, who stared back, bewildered.

“I-i-i-i-i dunno what hap-p-pened, I-i-i-i-i” he said, mystified.

Scarlet threw his hands into signs.

‘Dog! Tiger!’

“Oboro Bunshin no Jutsu!”

Again, nothing happened. He stared at his hands blankly, as though expecting his pores to magically sweat out a clone or something.

“I can feel the chakra leaving my body, but nothing’s happening.”

“KYAAAAA!!!!” They heard a voice cry out from behind the corner they hadn’t crossed. Crimson and Scarlet bounded to the source of the noise. Two burly guys and one skinny guy with gl@sses that looked like he’d rather not be there had cornered a girl with black hair and red eyes who looked like she was having way too much fun for being robbed.

“Pay up, girly. Your dad’s late on his payment, and you know how heavy the interest rate is,” one of the guys growled.

“Crimson! Use Sand Attack!” Scarlet yelled. Crimson proceeded to throw dirt in their faces.

“Grah! What the-!?”

“Fire Style! Matchmaking!” Scarlet quickly lit matches (Who knows where he got them) and threw them at the screaming boys to add to the mayhem (Don’t try this at home kids. Also, this was featured in Rock Lee & His Ninja Pals, Ep. 7, so it’s not mine. Jus’ getttin’ that out of the way).

The three rubbed their watering eyes, and when they finally managed to open them again, the girl was gone, and their pants were down by their ankles. But it wasn’t until later that they realised the worst part.

“It pays to help others, doesn’t it, Crim?” Scarlet chortled, juggling three fat wallets as they walked along.

“Sure does!” Crimson said brightly.

“E-eto… Thank you for saving me! It’s every high school girl’s dream to be rescued by two princes! And then be fought over by them in an epic battle of wits and love!” the girl chirped enthusiastically, eyes sparkling.

“Uh… yeah. I guess...” Crimson said uncomfortably.

The others were waiting, arms crossed, when they got back.

“What took you so long? And please don’t tell me you actually ate tr@sh,” Breeze said, foot tapping in a most elegant manner, in contrast to the mild disgust in her voice. Midnight cleared his throat.

“We got some new info, and it turns out that-” his eyes focused on the girl behind them, and widened.

“You! You couldn’t be-!”

The girl giggled, putting up two peace signs and winking in a cutesy manner.

“My name is Tobi! And Tobi is a good girl!” she stuck her tongue out, “I wanted to experience the life of a high school girl in modern day Japan, so when the Infinite Tsukuyomi was cast, I dragged Deidara in to be my senpai, and you guys, because you might cause trouble if left to your own devices, but don’t have enough character substance to be have your own perfect worlds (Since you’re playable characters)! ♥”

“Tobi!?” Breeze cried.

“Tobi!?” Midnight yelled.

“Tobi!?” Scarlet shouted, mostly to keep the chain going.

“Who is Tobi!?” Crimson hollered.

“What the heck is she going on about?” Azure blinked.

“THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW,” Deidara, dressed in the girls’ uniform, stomped up the hallway.

Okay I’m gonna end it there.