In what world is Crimson Fist the main protagonist of his own fanfic? Not this one!

(Blatant rip-off of the anime, Rock Lee & his Ninja Pals, based on the manga, Rock Lee’s Springtime of Youth. Character portrayals are highly exaggerated. Any opinion featured is not strictly that of the author's. 'Strictly' and 'author' being applied very loosely.)

“Chili to ¥en-$an. Chili to ¥en-$an. ¥en-$an, do you read?” Scarlet’s fuzzy voice crackled out of the the walkie.

“H-hey, can we cut the * names? Who even decided on these? And I know you only added the -san at the end so that you could write it with a dollar sign!”

“Sashimi here. No can do, ¥en-$an. Using our real names would be unprofessional. Not to mention dangerous.”

“Easy for you to say! At least your nickname isn’t literally money-money! Has yen even been invented yet? And no one in this parody of a parody of a parody of a parody should know about dollars!”

“Say, aren’t they replacing Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on the twenty?” Breeze’s voice came through.

“They’ve been saying that since last April now, but I don’t really think that the racists down south will- WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT EITHER!”

“What can I say? I’ve learned a bit during my travels.”

“WRONG ERA. And don't sound so cool when you're boasting of how you know that Harriet Tubman is going to replace an old man on a piece of paper.”

Midnight heard clapping and the sound of Azure’s laughter.

“As expected, Hime-sama is really smart!”

Silence. Was that sarcastic or not? That is the real question.

“Urgh… I hate to agree with ¥en-$an, but these names do leave a bit to be desired…”

"What's our mission again?"

"You're dumb, Sriracha."

"It's chili."

Meet Team [Unnamed as of 2017]! Consisting of the mains from the somewhat popular, slowly dying game, Naruto Online, this well balanced in terms of chakra attributes but highly dysfunctional in terms of personality ragtag group of adolescents could potentially be the key to saving Konoha from whatever crap comes up in this fanfic!

Phew, that was a long sentence.

Ahhh, Konoha. Cameraman, pan over the village, please. The birds singing, the sky bright and clear… Look! There’s Ichira- *RIIIIIIIIIIP*

“Hey, what’d I miss?”

Oh, it was just a backdrop. Ahem, well. This is Crimson Fist, the main protagonist of this show fanfic. You’re late, my dude. Also, pay for that backdrop you just busted through.

“Haha, sorry, I got lost, and I’m going to ignore that last bit.”

How long have you lived here again?

“Oi, idiot! Only Kakashi-sensei can pull off an excuse like that!”

“Calm down, ¥en-$an. Knowing Meat-Head, he probably did get lost,” Breeze sighed in a hopeless but still very prim manner.

It’s funny because he’s vegetarian. Ha ha. Ha.

“Oh, are we Anbu now? With the special names?” Crimson smiled wide.

Are they Anbu now? But then… I mean, Azure’s supposed to be tracking some Dojutsu somewheres, and Breeze graduated from ninja school but she’s pretty much a NEET at this point…

“YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THESE THINGS!! And who are you calling a NEET, ne!?”

Breeze Dancer was brought up as a well mannered lady, and has traveled the world. Since we’ve only ever been shown a map of one continent, it’s safe to assume that either there is only one continent on this Earth, we’ve only been shown this part of the world and there are other things going on in other parts, or neither is true, this whole world is a sham, and my entire life has been a lie.

“YOU’RE TAKING THINGS TOO FAR.” *BAM*

Ah yes. Breeze is playing a straight man. It works out personality-wise, but pretty much the only reason is because she got dat big-a** fan. Itaiiiiiiiiiiiii...

“Your life would have been a lie even if none of the above were true.” Scarlet muttered.

What was that?

“Nooooothing,” he smiled innocently.

Scarlet can switch between the comic and the straight man, since there are an odd number of people and he looks like he could be either a boy or a girl.

“What does that have to do with anything!?”

Midnight is playing the straight man here. Not on my watch, BWAAAHAHAHAHA-owch

“Wrong universe…”

“Give me back my fan, Midnight.”

“Wow!” Scarlet exclaimed, “Did you see how his veins were popping off his face? And look at how that voice is holding it’s head in pain and crying!”

“That’s hilarious. Ha ha ha ha ha,” Crimson deadpanned, holding a script right in front of his face.

You need to put a little more effort into acting… Seriously, you’re supposed to be the main character and we’ve made one joke about how you’re vegetarian.

Does anyone know what tense this is in? ‘Cuz I sure don’t.

“We’re doomed… We’re gonna die…” Breeze groaned (groans?) in a very lady-like fashion.

Hahahaha... I promise Crimson will get more screen time... er... a higher word count in the next chapter... if there is one... Prompts desperately needed

Oh my god, using emojis in a fanfic... so cringey... Fatal flaw- portrayal of facial expression through writing...