a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 16: The Reunion

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Okay, hold on, hold on. Tell me the story again. But explain like I’m five.

...I’m from the Hidden Rain village. I was sent here as part of an exchange student program with the Hidden Sound. I got separated from my classmates.

You’ve said the exact same thing three times so far. We need more details.

I see no reason to give you any further information.

We’re trying to help you, come o–

Wait a minute… Hidden Rain village?

Do I know anybody from that village?

...Oh yeah. Those guys.

You know Oboro, Walter and Matthew?

Yeah, my students took the Chunin Exams with them.

They were pretty funny to watch. Especially the one with no eyes.

Well, erm…

I’m the reason why Matthew lost both of his eyes.

What did you do, stab him?

No, the panda I summoned clawed his eyes out.

...Why do you want to know about the Hidden Rain village anyways?

All of you from the great nations really know nothing…

Yeah, well that’s because the Hidden Rain never tells us about themselves.

If they were a party member, they’d be that one super edgy guy who *s to himself, because he’s too COOL and BADB3TT to talk to people.

Hmph...

KNOCK KNOCK

Oh no, it’s the guards…

I’d rather not work with someone from a “main nation”, but we’re going to have to team up to fight them!

That line is so friggin cliché. Are you a tsundere?

And also, what’s with those crab dudes?

They’re CRAB RAVERS, because Orochimaru is trying to copy Gaara of the Memes.

...Oh.

So, uh…

Ajisai.

Ajisai. Okay. What can you do, Ajisai?

Just watch.

HOLY poo poo

A T-POSING PANDA

That’s actually godly.

I know, right?

Heh… I try my best to entertain.

Well that was fast.

They’re pathetic after all, huh.

So, Ajisai. Right?

Yes?

Tell me more about yourself.

...Why?

We’re going to be working together for now, right?

Don’t mind him. He’s trying to be flirty, but he actually has a girlfriend.

...You’re terrible.

Ouch. You didn’t need to tell her that, you know.

Yeah, I did. As your student, it’s my job to keep you in check.

...Then where were you in the first arc?

I deliberately tried to improve your relationship there.

But here, this is going against it.

I see.

Man, you’re such a playb0y.

...Hmph.

Did I say something wrong?

The Great Nations… don’t understand Peen.

Peen?

The Hidden Rain Village… is home to some of the most notorious playb-ys in the world.

A scrub like Idontcare, or even the Kazekage, Gaara of the Memes, could never compare to a man as great as the Master of Peen.

The Master of Peen, huh? That’s the dumbest playb-y title I’ve ever heard.

What’s he like?

...

Bonan-samaaaaa!

It’s the angel! The right-hand lady of the love of my life, Peen-samaaaaa!

She’s soooo hot up close!!!

We love you, Peen!

Fellow Lovers of Peen, I have an order straight from my love himself.

He’s MY love, not yours!

Sssh! Don’t say that, or else Bonan-sama might strike you down where you stand!

She is more powerful th*l of us, because she’s the only one here who has seen Peen with his shirt off!

...Sorry, Bonan-sama. I did not… mean to be rude.

Apology accepted… Now then, the Sound Village wants to do an exchange student program…

We shall send some of our student ninja there, and they send theirs to us…

Who would like to go?

To be separated from Peen-sama? To not be in the same city as he? How preposterous!

I could never live without my daily message from Peen-sama!

...I’ll go, Bonan-sama.

What? Ajisai… are you sure?

You won’t be able to see Peen-sama’s handsome face for an entire month!

Don’t get me wrong. I love Peen-sama as much as you. Probably more.

Nuh-uh!

But, well...

...I want to experience the world.

That’s why I’m going to step outside of my boundary.

INTERMISSION

...Peen is the most perfect man I have ever known.

Beauty. Confidence. Power.

He has it.

Pfft. If this Peen guy is so tough, then why isn’t there a Peen 2?

There is.

There’s a Peen 3, Peen 4, Peen 5, and Peen 6 too.

What?!?!?

Girl, you sure you aren’t dehydrated or something like that?

Need some water, cause you’re so thirsty for this guy?

I mean, he ain’t perfect! He picks his nose and takes a dump just like every other one of us.

No, Peen-sama has never done anything like that.

...Whaaaaaaat? You’re lying. You’re a friggin’ liar!

Or he is, if he told you that!

Anyways, more important question. Have you seen Orochimaru anywhere here?

No, but I DID see his dog.

FLASHBAAAACK

Hey, you must be the new girl! I’m Kabuto desu!

Hi.

I just wanna let you know that I’m cooler than you desu!

Wanna know why?

No.

Look!

You can’t do… this.

See? I’m cool.

Right? ...right? Right?

PRESENT DAY

Anyways.

What are YOU doing here?

We’re looking for a dude with an open shirt and some family issues.

Have you seen him?

Well, he’s clearly not here.

Considering how there’s a filler instance just chilling here.

Ugh. Filler.

So, Idontcare.

Eh?

What can you do?

Well, I’m glad you asked milady.

As you can see, I am a master of the Buff Arts.

I have never heard of those in my life before.

You sure you’re not making this up?

W-w-w-hataaaaa?

Buffness is a universal language!! YOU HEATHEN!

Nah, you’re just self centered.

...Agreed.

I think I like you, Ajisai.

You seem nice as well.

Are you two bonding over telling me to shut up?

Can you guys, like, help out?

Sure.

...what is that

are those tentacles

what ARE those?

Rope.

...rope? Rope? Talk about a pathe–

Don’t bite the hand that feeds.

Complain more, and I’ll stop helping.

*sigh*

That rope is probably stronger than your dumb slaps anyways.

Wa–

Hanabi, you’re on her side?

Her side is more sensible.

...I hate you.

You deserve this.

IDONTCARE, IS THAT YOU?

...was that naruto’s voice?

NARUTO?

YES, IT’S ME

I HEARD YOU SHOUTING ABOUT TAKING A DUMP AND LYING

WANNA PO0 TOGETHER?

Eww, no!

So Sai is missing?

Well, he was always unreliable.

Let’s find him as soon as we can.

Hey, who’s the new girl?

A freed hostage.

Wha–

Come on, you really think this “exchange student” program was true?

They were just lying to use you as a bargaining captive.

They traded you to Orochimaru.

...No, that’s ridiculous.

It’s not like that, Idontcare.

Peen-sama is a loving man.

Yeah, my rear end he is.

You’re just salty he’s s3xier than you.

Hey, change of topic mates. Check this door out.

Hm hm mhm…

“It wuz...Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.”

“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.”

“I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby,” he said siriusly Den...he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and...sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111”

Hi.

You’re all here, as I expected…

well, except Naruto, I expected him to get killed.

lmao

SAI!!!!

WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM US?

don’t shout nyaaa

Me too, man.

This translation is garbage.

We spent the entirity of this episode establishing why Orochimaru WASN’T a threat, buddy.

Were you even listening?

No, I was too busy eating Count Chocula.

So where’s Sasuke again?

Uh...

um…

I forgot.

He was staring at his phone talking about big cu*bers up his b3tt.

Ehehehehe.

...why are you so worthless?

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 16 - The Reunion

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

So how are we going to find him then?

Simple. He’s with Orochimaru.

And Orochimaru bl-ws up at the end of every single episode, right?

Right.

So all we need to do is look for an explosion–

BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

And there it is.

Sasuke must be there!

SASUKE?!?!??!?!

LET”S GO GET HIM THEN!!!!!

...So he’s finally gonna show his face huh?

Sigh… I don’t wanna see him again if I can help it.

you know it’s inevitable.

there ain’t no “naruto” without “sasuke” y’know?

...Doubt.