Oh, we finally caught up.

Aaaaaaand he’s already dead.

Yep! You’re too late! I already bl3w him!

…

…

...Up.

I’m not like the Deidara from every OTHER parody series out there.

I’m straight as a spaghetti!

Soooo can I go home?

NO!

STAND BACK EVERYONE

wait kakshi when did you get there

well I just got back from my BEACH EPISODE

of being surrounded by hot ladies

gently caress you man

and I’m here to steal the show!

I friggin hate you.

I’m about to use my latest technique!

Which requires a large amount of concentration to execute!

And will OBLITERATE EVERYTHING with a single glance!

I’ll show you who’s worthless now, Idontcare!

COME OVER ME!

WAIT WAIT NO NARUTO PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON

ITS JUST THE NAME OF THE TECHNIQUE

oh sorry, okay.

...hi.

OROCHIMARU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Well, kakashi my boy.

I heard you wanted someone to come over you.

KABUTO

HELP ME OUT

I’m on it Lord Orochimaru!

WAIT NO ITS JUST THE NAME OF THE TECHNIU

NO NOOOO goddrat IT

ALRIGHT IM CHANGING THE NAME IM CHANGING THE NAAAAAME

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wow, y’all aren’t even paying attention to me!

How rude.

LMAO THAT gently caressing TRANSLATION

I CANT BREATHE

“imma kill you! oh btw art’s a drink!”

Hey, why’s that bandage dude glaring at me?

Makes me feel like I’m gonna die soon.

Ah frick you tore my other freaking arm off

wtf man

Sorry, just business.

An opening!

You’re finished, trap Ino!

Well… this was embarrassing.

D-did you see that? I took down an Akatsuki!

Yeah, nice work!

c:

This is it, Michael Bay. Give up now and we might spare you.

Heh… little do you know…

You’ve fallen right into my trap!

In America!

JIHADIST NO JUTSU!

...wtf?

Man, tactics are wack these days.

CLICK HERE FOR INTERMISSION (youtube link)

Oh hey guys. I guess we’re here too.

So how’d the rescue go?

Uhh… Gaara’s dead.

NOOOOOOO!

YESSSSSSS!

…

I mean, uh… nooooo.

I FAILED TO SAVE GAAR AAAAAAAAA

same.

WHAT WILL I EVER DO WITHOUT MY FRIEND

AAAAAAA

…

...I know what has to be done.

Chiyo-sensei – honorable Goddess of S3x and Love, heed my oath.

You who has control over all human emotion…

I want you to harness some of my endless supply of Buff Energy,

and transfer it into Gaara’s corpse.

...You intend to revive him?

...yes.

Well then, Buff Energy isn’t the only thing you need.

You’ll need a drop of Memes…

I’ve got some of that too.

...and a pinch of Raw S3x Energy if you want to revive someone.

I’ve got–

No you don’t.

Yes I do.

...no you don’t.

Fortunately for you, I have plenty.

So we can probably make this work…

You mean… you can bring the dead back to life?

...I always told you that the sheer power of Buff can do amazing things, right?

Yep.

WOW DO IT IDONTCARE

BGRING MY FRIEND BACK

wow you rear end

fine

I’m… all alone…

I thought I made friends…

...met people who would be there for me…

good memes that would keep my heart alive…

GAAAAAARAAAAAAA

H-huh?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAA

I-Is that…

N-Naruto!

You thought you were dead…

but it was I! Chiyo!

You came for me…

yeah, you still owe me my Jack in the Box coupon.

You all came for me…

I… including…

Including… OROCHIMARU!

Sup.

Sakura, just come out and say it. How did you even beat Sasori?

Well, we were SO BAD…

that he died.

THAT…

that

thathathat…

...nah, jk

Sasori likes anime, so he was afraid of girls.

It was easy from there.

...Wow.

Gaara, you’re alive!

Oh my god… I’m so relieved...

Er, uh… yeah. I guess I am.

I’m so glad you’re okay…

Heh… I hope I didn’t worry you too much.

Gaara, marry me!

No, you said you’d marry me!!

W-what? You promised me you’d marry me last week!!

And that we’d have three children, all infused with the raw power of memeage!

E-eh? What?

What’s going on…?

Sorry, change of plans. I had an epiphany after I died.

The only people I’m going out with…

are the 14-year-old Gaara fangirls on DeviantArt.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

...

Unlike all of you, they actually accept me for who I am.

And they’ll flame anyone who disagrees to death.

…

...huh.

So the rest of you can, uh…

I dunno. Go grab a beer together or something.

...

C’yall later.

…

...I see.

…

Hey.

…

I’m sorry…

No, it’s okay…

…

...

...ah, who am I kidding, it’s not okay.

…

*sob* *cry* *sad noises*

*depression*

(...Is this what I wanted?)

I’m… I’m *sob* sorry for breaking like this again...

(Goddess of Love… was this your doing?)

(Or perhaps… do you have an even further-rooted plan in the making, beyond what we can see as of now?)

Idontcare… *cry* what do I do?

My heart wants to leap out and commit seppuku…

Perhaps none of what Gaara and I went through together mattered to him, ever...

You know…

I get the feeling.

Eh?

And, to be honest, I don’t think I’m the right person to console you right now.

R-really? But… you’re– *cry*

But I know just the person who can help you.

I’m sure you’ve heard of Lady Chiyo… but do you know of her other title?

W… what other title?

She is the sage, guiding all souls lost on the road of romance…

The balm that heals all emotional scars…

She truly is the S3x Goddess herself.

Find her, and she shall help you discover closure.

Then, once things are better, come down to Konohagakure.

And we can spend some time together like the old days.

...Alright. I’ll take you up on that offer sometime in the future, Idontcare.

It’s a promise?

Sure. It’s a promise.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 8: In America!

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

END OF SEASON 1

STAY TUNED FOR SEASON 2

*featuring weeb hunting with Steve Irwin

Hey, I noticed something.

I dunno why, but DeviantArt REALLY hates the Generic Suna Nin.

Like, what did she even do wrong?

Is it because she likes Gaara, and the Gaara fangirls are threatened by that?

Imagine that, lmao.

doicare you’re literally writing a fanfiction where you feel threatened because gaara is encroaching on your anime crush

you friggin hypocrite

...Yeah, but I don’t call anyone a “Gaaratard” or anything like that.

I don’t hate Gaara or anything.

Like, this stuff is just downright offensive and toxic and hurtful.

Friggin’ Deviantart, man.

Friggin’ Deviantart.

lol this is why you never trust the internet

Hey guys, Tobin here to explain the joke.

So basically, uh... er...

Um...

Why is Orochimaru there again?

Don't ask me, ask the animators.

OOOO

this part of the story might seem really serious since we're actually doing some romantic development...

but, a warning: this series is a comedy. any serious moment is only here to build up for another joke.'

keep that in mind now...