a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 7: Anime Tiddies

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Watch the Season 1 Intro here! (youtube link)

why did you do this to yourself, sasori?

were you not satisfied with the s3xiness that is…

the blood of the s3x goddess that pounds in your veins?

hot.

Well, to be honest…

I wanted to show ALL the anime fans and otakus out there…

that even THEY can be kawaii desu!

...with a little plastic surgery and about 40000 yen.

lies.

But you’re already hot, Sasori!

BAKA OBAASAN! Not enough! I’ll become EVEN MORE KAWAII SUGOI DESU!

...What’s up with that moonspeak?

“Moonspeak”?

NA-NANIIIIIII?

Do you know how disrespectful that is?!

If you aren’t going to respect the great culture of Nihon…

...nippon.

I’ll just have to bring an entire anime convention to YOU!

Then you’ll HAVE to see the splendor called anime!

Desu.

Naruto has too much filler desu!

Hey Sasori-san, is there a maid cafe here desu ka?

We’re in Akihabara, so obviously hai desu!

There’s not enough fanservice in anime desu!

Hey everybody, it’s the Anime Man, and I’m here to laugh at your bad tastes and talk about how NIPPONESE I am even though I’m only half Japanse LMAOOOLOLROFLKSDGHLASYG

I see, I see…

even your puppets must be WEEBs.

No wonder I’ve been dealing extra damage to you.

…

…

…

Are they gonna say anything to us?

S-sorry… they’re a bit, uh…

...shy around women.

Well, that makes sense.

The natural enemy of the weeaboo is a healthy romantic and s3xual life.

And a healthy social life.

And contributing to society.

...rude desu.

Stand back, Su3kura.

W-wait, why?

I am the natural predator of the species known as the weeaboo.

For I am Lady Chiyo… the master of human horniness…

The S3x Goddess!

na-nani?

SASORI DESU KA WHY DID YOU BRING WATASHI HERE DESU KA

I see you’ve brought all your weeaboo friends…

Time to bring my own!

FELLOW SENIOR CITIZENS! UNITE!

...wait a minute, does this mean I was being TENTACLED by an OLD GUY a few episodes earlier?

HOW IN THE eternal sauna DID HE DO THAT?

OMAE WA MO

SHINDEIRU

NO U!

N-NANI?

ORE WA EMILIAAAAAAA

THARJA-SAAAAAN I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU DESUUUUUU

...that was fast.

Did they all die?

No, they just retreated into their weeb caves.

You’re all alone now, Sasori!

Fufufu...

You misunderstand desu.

The anime culture has MILLIONS of followers!

And I’ve brought the ENTIRE Anime Expo here!

...oh poo poo.

HOLY poo poo ITS A REAL WOMAN

I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE IN THE PAST 20 YEARS

CAN I TOUCH IT DESU KA?

DON’T DO IT MATOBA-SAN, IT’S NOT BETTER THAN YOUR 2D WAIFU

THINK OF KIRINO-CHAN, MATOBA-SAN

DON’T BETRAY YOUR 2D LOVE

3D IS TEMPORARY, 2D IS ETERNAL

YOU’RE RIGHT MELODY-SAMA

ARIGATO GOZAIMASU FOR SAVING ME FROM THE EVIL 3D SEDUCTRESS

Y’all have some jank tastes, yo.

-> INTERMISSION <-

*anime reaction gaspy noise*

Kotetsu, he’s open.

That’s l3wd.

F!STED!

ow.

rude.

If you thought that was rude –

just wait till you see this!

YOU FRIGGIN’ WEEABOO!

DEER STOMPY STOMP!

Time to su3ck away all of these d!ck...heads!

...That’s k1nky.

And now, Sasori, before we finish…

“Finish”? That’s l3wd.

And *uous.

I have something I must ask of you.

Son, what would your parents say if they saw you jacking off to anime tiddies in your room all day?

Uhh...

“I disapprove! You need to go outside and get some air, young man.”

“You aren’t going to get a job staring at fictional women with overly disproportionate bodies, you know.”

ADLDIC note: a derps life and Do I Care? are advocators of human rights, and as such are supportive of anime characters with respectable and/or realistic proportions.

you are beautiful, regardless of what you look like. never4getti.

“B-but… otou-san… okaa-san…”

“...”

“...okay, alright… I’ll go outside and socialize now, if it’ll make you happy.”

...So my grandson is finally not a weeb anymore?

No… I will never give up… my love for Japan…

...nyan...

But to kick off the next arc… I have something I must tell you…

It’s about… Orochimaru…

Pushing along the plot, just like I taught you…

You’re such a good boy.

go to the grass village…

you’ll find… this bridge…

a very good (a)bridge, mind you…

...made by… two guys named… Do I Care?-san... and a derps life-san...

with nothing better to do… with their lives…

...wasting away… their college campus life…

Okay, that was uncalled for.

bruh

there… you’ll find…

...a fellow… otaku… friend of mine…

He knows… knows where Sasuke… and Orochimaru… are… desu…

He does?!

We might see SAUCE GAE?

My only… regret… is…

After all… this… work…

I… never… got the chance…

to live out… my own… rom-com… anime series…

Oh man, this is so sad.

A weeb till the end, huh.

YOU TWO SHUT UP SASORI WAS A GREAT MAN

HE STOOD UP FOR WHAT HE BELIEVED IN

You were crucifying him for liking anime literally ten minutes ago!

Yeah but…

...

shut up su3kura.

...

so you’re going to rescue gaara now right?

since michael bay stole him away.

What? Huh? No, why would I do that?

gently caress Gaara, he stole my freakin WIFE.

My child, do you not see?

Can you truly say you love someone… if you are not willing to sacrifice yourself to rescue that which they hold dearest?

...So this is a test, huh?

Yes, yes… it’s your final test…

A test… of your romantic maturity.

...wtf?

....Soooo if I’ll rescue Gaara, then he’ll give me my girlfriend back because he’s such a nice guy, right?

I don’t think that’s how it works.

But trust me, it’ll do you good.

...Alright, Lady S3x Goddess.

I’ll go and rescue him, for her.

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online Shippuden

Episode 7: Big Fat Anime Tiddies

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

Kisame…

We haven’t been getting enough SCREEN TIME on this season.

Everyone’s forgotten about us.

So I have devised a plan… That will put us on everyone’s radar once again.

Oh yeah? And what is this plan of yours?

Eyyyyyyy, Itachi?

We’re going to ha–

Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy, Itachi?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyeyyyyyyyyyiiiiitaaaaaachiiiii?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,

Itachi?

Eeeeeeeey–

stop it.

We’re going to have to roast an important character.

Oh? You mean like Idontcare?

...Eeeeeey, Itachi?

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that for your own sake.

He isn’t important at all. I was thinking more on the lines of Sasuke.

And how do we get in contact?

I know a forbidden jutsu that can telepathically communicate with anyone I know.

Nobody uses this jutsu anymore, because it has a very deadly side effect.

Ooooohhhh? And what would that be?

I dunno.

Well we’re about to find out.

…

*cough* *cough* is this thing on?

hello?

*taps mic*

*bl0ws on mic*

yeah, yeah, it’s just…

talk in the mic, right there.

All right.

Ahem.

Hello, Sauce Keh.

Wait… is that…

IT IS!

BIG BRUBBER!

And me tooo!

Shut up Kisame, no one cares.

Sasuke. It’s time for you to feel… the WRATH OF MY DESPAIR!

Are you ready, Kisame?

HIT IT!

It’s over!

You’re goin’ down, boy!

Back me up, Kisame!

I’m goin’ in for the kill!

Ooh yeah! Mmm! Mm!

Could you beat this, SAS KEH?!

Yeah, whatcha got!

Mm! mm!

Swag, swag!

He’s gettin’ weaker! I think I can feel–

*hangs up*

...

…

…

…

…

…

…

...What the gently caress was that?

I dunno, let’s never do that again.

No wonder why it’s a forbidden jutsu.

Fun fact: Derps really doesn't like the anime man. He thinks he's sleazy.