Okay guys we’re gonna leave.

TO TRAIN SOME MORE?

Uh… yes!

We’re gonna traverse distant lands, braving the elements to discover the location of a former comrade in hopes that she’ll save the Leaf Village from eternal collapse!

...You mean we’re gonna walk down the street and talk to your friend?

...Sike, we’re going out to this open field.

So you guys can get utterly ravaged by froggy froggies.

Huh.

Can I go back to Kakashi now?

SHARINGANS ONLY, B!TCH!

*aww*

...I don’t get what he’s trying to say here.

Derps, help.

...what is this game translation lel

You mean it’s not different to use frogs to crush people?

I mean.

*ahem*

*hmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm*

Can’t really argue with that one ya know.

Isn’t that right, generic Sunagakure girl?

*cricket chirps*

Uh…

She left for Sunagakure a long time ago, dude.

*sigh*

OI!

OI WHAT WAS THAT!

CALL DOWN THE PEST CONTROL! SOMEONE GET PEST CONTROL!

I’ll be right on it…

...Wrong type of Pest Control.

Oh no.

This is bad.

Jiraiya isn’t OHKO’d by my Dance of the Mighty Hog!

I must unleash my teammate’s ultimate power!

GO UDON!

You guys are just trying to humiliate me at this point aren’t you.

I mean, we did that to Itachi, right?

…

you gUYS WANNA BUY SOME-

No.

Instead I’m going to unsummon this frog right in front of your faces so that a bunch of smoke goes into your eyes and lungs.

I just reduced your lifespan by like 6 months. How do you feel?

...How is this training of any kind?

You saying I haven’t practiced in enough Real Fights?

I’m sorry, Jiraiya, how many Danger Noodles have you killed?

At least 300.

...frick.

Lemme try again.

I’m sorry, Jiraiya, how many generic Suna Nin have you saved?

> . >

Three.

They weren’t really generic, because they had names, and they weren’t from Sunagakure, they were from Amegakure...

but… well you get the idea.

...ETERNAL SAUNA!

Alright guys, so we need to get my friend Tsunade’s attention. When we talk to her, we need to use extreme carefulness.

And TACT.

Tact? Alright, I got this. Which one is Tsunade?

That one.

Oh, alright. Lemme show you how a real man gets a woman’s attention.

…

HEY B1MBO! FLAT CHESTS TRUMP B1G BR3ASTS!

…

...Yeah.

Tact.

He’s just saying that because of Generic Suna Nin.

I mean.

You’re not wrong.

I’m sorry, what the gently caress did you say about pride and joy?

Isn’t it supposed to be “my” pride and joy?

No. One of them’s pride, and one of them’s joy.

...So do they represent, like, two of the deadly sins?

Joy isn’t a deadly sin.

Um, HELLO, have you EVER played LISA THE PAINFUL?

Joy is a drug.

And everyone knows.

Drugs are bad.

Isn’t that what the Danger Rangers said?

hey doicare, i got a joke for ya

you know what the best part of playing dungeon crawler games is?

Uh… what?

you use lookpeeks… lockpicks, i mean

to open chests

and get bo0bs

...You tried so hard to make that clever.

You tried so hard.

OH COME ON THATS CLEVER

Hey, uh, waht are we doing out here again?

Naruto’s going to practice the r@SSengan

because of some dumb plot necklace stuff.

meanwhile, you’re coming with me and Cousin Torune.

yo.

We got goods to distribute.

and why do i have to go with you

Because Jiraiya doesn’t want you around to get in nardos way

Wait, why are there two copies of your cousin?

Oh, that’s just Joey.

He’s a batch of bugs that grew sentient.

And decided to become my clone.

More meatshields, I guess?

Alright, Torune, what can you do?

See, I distribute bugs.

...AND???????

I do it differently than Shino.

See, Shino is a sole-person distributor.

But I’m a mass-producer of bugs.

wat?

Watch. First, let me perform the rite of Dr...Bug Dealing.

ADLDIC Editor’s Note: this is a sing along song, feel free to sing along. just click on the link i guess and replace the words

Fruit fly, bumblebee.

Aphid, moth and flea.

Nymph, snail, planthopper.

*roach and caterpillar.

Grasshopper, *erfly.

Spider and dragonfly.

I’m your bug provider.

Get this shiz inside ya.

And just like that, happy customers.

Hey, wait, you can talk to Shizune?

I mean, tbh, Shizune’s pretty hot… let’s see what she says.

...Who wrote this crap?

THAT WAS TWO SEASONS AGO!

a derps life and Do I Care? - “Let’s Play” Naruto Online

(Stylized like a Poorly Censored Satire)

Written by Do I Care? & a derps life

MEANWHILE...

Okay Naruto, this training is in 3 parts.

They are very difficult to master and I don’t think you can do it. But let’s try.

Test 1. Hold this water balloon.

OKAY!

CONGRATULATIONS YOU PASS THE FIRST TEST!

Huh?

TEST 2. Hold this balloon filled with air.

Okay, I-

CONGRATULATIONS YOU PASS THE SECOND TEST.

But I…

And now for the Third and Final Test!

Concentrate your chakra in two separate directions while forming a spiral motion while moving the chakra back and forth in a small motion in the same direction your body’s chakra naturally spins, and then increase the volume and density of the chakra you output, and then combine the first two steps into a contained, small sphere that does not burst, and then slam it into your opponent like a bowling ball.

...I think that’s the largest line of text this Let’s Play has ever seen.

That game translation makes me think that they didn't care (*finger guns*) to get something that make sense because they knew that majority of players will just skip all that without bothering to read.

They do cared for getting players a 100+ ways to buy the bugs from them. Aburame running whole this thing.

And just like that, happy customers.

Yay, translation jokes!

Weren't the danger rangers all doing drugs last time we saw them?

The translations... smh. Honestly, this is my interpretation of it:

"Poor Toad Summons. Even they get dragged in Jiraiya-sensei's perverted acts."

Did I mention this was hilarious?

He sure does use those frogs in different ways.... I mean.... how else does anyone else use them?

On that note.... WHO uses frogs and HOW does anyone even use frogs?!

Also, I liked this episode of the Chunin exams, it was really exciting. Lots of happiness being distributed... But where can one achieve greater happiness?

...You and your Naruto Abridged references.

Top lul

There are people who rather eat them th*e them to fight soooo... maybe like this?....

That is true, I forgot that people consume frogs.

Frogs has really lean legs man... consider how much they exercise, much leaner than a chicken's

Jiraiya training them froggies to sell them later to french restaurants... Now that would be interesting plot

*sharingans only b*tch* haha savage sasuke